This is a “myspace.com” survey I took. I normally just ignore them, but I was bored and thought I’d exercise my creativity. I answered the questions off the top of my head with the intent to be funny, but also be true to myself.
So, besides giving me a chance to flex my creative muscle, I figure the answers will also give an insight into my personality and what goes on inside this melon-sized noggin of mine.
Anyway, not everything is true. Some answers are true, some totally false, while others are based in truth. I’m sure it’s easy to tell which are which.
Enjoy.
01.) Where was your last kiss? Hmm ... where on the body or where in time and space? I believe it was on the lips, open mouth, in the Billiard Room, by Miss Scarlet. No wait, or was that Mr. Green? That might explain why he keeps leaving me those weird messages. I have to cut back on my social drinking!
02.) What color boxers/underwear are you wearing now? A really cool looking blue/green color (I can't tell which color because it's so close to both) of Hanes Premium Boxer Briefs (I hate tidy-whiteys). I have way too many regular boxers, but usually only wear them between November and May, when you're most likely to catch me in pants/blue jeans. I think it's stupid to wear boxers under shorts. I do lounge around the house in them all year though. The only bad thing about wearing boxers around the house is that, if you're a guy, it seems like your "junk" is always on display. It's like the other day I was informed my 3 amigos were taking a siesta outside one of the leg holes.
03.) What are you listening to right now? The sound of my PC humming and the sound of my Kenmore air purifier. If you're talking music and like what I'm really enjoying as of late, it would be Audioslave's new CD, "Revelations."
04.) Whats your favorite number? 69 -- for obvious reasons.
Other than that, I'd have to say my favorite number is 9 -- Not only is it a Trinity of Trinities, but it's also my numerology number and the only number whose sum, when added together, gives you the same number. (9 +9 = 18 / 1 + 8 = 9)
05.) What was the last thing you ate? Spanish Rice. I'm drinking a Chai from Starbuck's at the moment.
06.) When was the last time you smiled? Who knows? I smile all the time, except in pictures, I rarely smile in pictures. Why not? I don't know. I want to look like a rapper. Yeah, right! Anyway, I'm sure the last time I smiled was in the last 15 minutes because I'm a damn smiling fool. Seriously, I get asked a lot, "What are you smiling about?"
07.) How is the weather right now? Well, right now it's Autumn, so ... it's pretty awesome. I love this time of year!!
08.) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My Mom, the bestest mommy in the world.
09.) What is your worst habit? Killling ... people ... with laughter. Kidding. I use various forms of torture, none of which they find funny. Seriously, my worst habit is probably masturbating in public.
10.) Do you do drugs? I MASTURBATE IN PUBLIC, what do you think? Exactly!! I don't need drugs when I got a high like that!
11.) Do you smoke? Hell no! That's a disgusting habit and it's bad for you! Unless the question means if I'm lit on fire, in which case I'll probably have to say yes, I'd probably smoke.
12.) When was the last time, if ever, you blacked out? Assuming that the question isn't including being "knocked out," not to copy you Mandy, but seriously it was when I was getting out of the bathtub when I was in 10th grade. I blacked out, fell, and hit the back of my head on the toilet bowl. I'll have to write an entry on my weblog about it. It was a very unique experience that I remember like it happened just yesterday.
13.) Do you have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend? AGAIN, I spank my monkey in public, what do you think?! Exactly!! I don't need one.
14.) Your hair color? Wet or dry? Hell, I'll just go with dark brown.
16.) Do you wear contacts? First off, what the hell happened to number 15? Secondly, I've tried, just doesn't work for me because I have an astigmatism. Contact lenses are made to move around on your eye, unless you have an astigmatism, in which case they're supposed to stay in one position. The damn lenses, however, keep turning on my eyes! Do you know what it's like to be driving and then you blink and everything's all blurry? Just doesn't work for me.
17.) Favorite Holiday? I like them all, they're all unique! Right now, I'm looking forward to Halloween.
18.) Favorite Month? Probably October. It brings out something in my Soul. I love the feel of this time of year. I feel closer to the supernatural. Plus, I always feel so damned romantic this time of year. It's like all I want to do is cuddle. Mmm ... cuddle.
19.) Have you ever cried for no reason? Technically, wouldn't "no reason" still be a reason? I mean, if you say, "I cried for no reason last night." Didn't you just give a reason why you were crying? Like how I side-stepped that question?
20.) What was the last movie you watched? At the movies -- "Talladega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby." I know, so long ago! I usually go to the movie theater like 3 times a month and I haven't been there in like 2 months. On DVD -- "Robin Hood: Men In Tights" On TV -- "Mrs. Doubtfire," but only like a half-hour of it.
21.) Favorite day of the year? I don't know. I have a lot of fond memories of ChristmasDay. But I also like June 21, the longest Day of the year. You can't ever have too much sunlight. Hmm ... but really, I don't know.
22.) Are you too shy to ask someone out? OMG ... I jack off in public ... what the hell do you think? Exactly!! Of course I am.
23.) Last advice you received? "If you restrained from satisfying yourself in public, you'd probably be able to keep friends and a girlfriend." No, wait. I think it was, "You know, cars generally work better when you put gas in the tank."
24.) What was the highlight of your weekend? Sunday. I spent all day day with friends and family at Honey Haven Farm. We took a horse drawn hay ride out to the pumpkin patch, picked out our pumpkins, took the kids to the petting zoo and through a little kids' straw maze. Then we went through the corn maze. Ate several ice cream cones. Later that night, met some cute, funny girls. Wait, that was last weekend. Hmm, this weekend? Oh, I went to Loudonville Street Fair.
25.) Chocolate or Vanilla? Both, I don't discriminate!
28.) When was the last time you had alot of fun? (What the hell happened to 26 and 27?) Two weekends ago.
29.) What was the last sports game you watched? I watched some bull riding the other night. Does that count? Oh wait, I saw "No Mercy" last night. Does "professional" wrestling count?
30.) When was the last time you slept in someone else's bed? Last night.
34.) Any pets? (Apparently this quiz/survey was written in the Bermuda Triangle! Seems 31 - 33 got lost too.) No. I had a pet Cobra and Mongoose once. It didn't work out. They killed each other. How was I supposed to know they hated each other? Anyway, I've never got over it.
35.) Favorite Drink? Water. I absolutely hate it, but being a masochist, that's why I enjoy it so much.
36.) BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?? Why are you yelling at me? Anyway, usually plain because it still comes salted. If it's not salty enough, I'll add a little more. If the butter is REAL and not that artificial crap, then sure, I'll take some of that too.
37.) Dogs or cats? They both taste good. What? Oh! You mean as pets. Well, they both have positives and negatives. Cats are easy to care for, but not much fun after they're no longer a kitten. Plus, they have such an attitude. Dogs on the other hand are a lot of hard work. It's like raising a child, which is probably why most people shouldn't have dogs since most people can't even raise their kids right! But if you're like me, the hard work is definitely worth it because you develop a relationship with a dog. I mean, you spend time training it to go outside, taking it for walks, bathing it, feeding it, training it to catch a frisbee, and taking it everywhere with you ... you just don't have a pet ... you have a relationship like you do with your friends and family. So, I guess I'm more of a dog person. I mean, what can you really do with a cat anyway?
38.) Favorite Flower? Doesn't matter, I'll bake with any brand. Oh ... flower ... not flour! D'uh! I don't know ... I can't imagine the world without any of them.
39.) When was the last time you got in trouble? I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I've never been in trouble. Seriously! I get away with just about everything. One time back in high school while going out the front door with a couple friends, firecrackers, M-80s, and toilet paper, I was like, "We're going out to bug these kids we don't like." My Mom and Step-Dad were like, "Ok. Be careful. Don't get into any trouble." My friends were like, "You have the coolest parents!"
40.) What did you do? I already told you, I never got into trouble!
Honestly though, I never crank one out in public, but I couldn't think of a bad habit and thought if I had one ... what would be a good bad habit to have? Naturally, that came to mind. I mean, can you think of a better bad habit than self-gratification? It simulates one of the best experiences in LIFE, which has many beneficial physiological side-effects. And best of all ... IT'S FREE!
DAMN IT!
I know what my bad habit is ... not masturbation ... PROCRASTINATION!!!
