You ever have one of those nights where you find yourself sitting in front of the computer feeling bored with nothing else to do, but also feeling "blah" and just wanting to ruminate?
So feeling emotionally indifferent you turn to your radio, video music channel, personal music collection, or online music store (as in this case) trying to find a song that reflects what's in your Soul ... but usually you just end up feeling like an emotional chameleon with your mood changing from one song to the next.
Really? You haven't? You're weird!
Anyway, that's how I felt tonight. And in my search for that one song, I found two that I wanted to add to my iTunes Library.
Give a Little Bit I don’t know, maybe I’m getting old, but I like this song.
It’s positive, pleasant, and for some reason makes me feel good and hopeful every time I hear it.
It’s like when I hear it, I think, “Life ain’t so bad.”
And that’s a good thing because it makes me nicer to people.
You know, people that live on this planet. All the hopelessly stupid and ignorant people that piss me off on a daily basis because they’re … well … stupid.
And for anyone that thinks this song's gay … it’d take a gay person to know.
Give a little bit Give a little bit of your love to me Give a little bit I'll give a little bit of my love to you See the man with the lonely eyes Take his hand, you'll be surprised
So give a little bit I'll give a little bit of my life for you So give a little bit Give a little bit of your time to me Now’s the time that we need to share So send a smile, we’re on our way back home
Don't you need to feel at home Ooo you gotta feel it Yea … you gotta want to Oo you gotta sing, we've come a long way … tonight
So give a little bit Give a little bit of your love to me So Give a little bit I'll give a little bit of my life for you Now's the time that we need to share So send a smile, we're on our way back home
Yea come along too Yea we gotta feel it Cause I need to feel at home Ooo, come along too Such a long ride Come a long way Ooo, sing it tonight
Lonely
When I first heard this song -- the first time I heard that poor, cute, lil’, heart-broken, cartoony voice sing out, “Lonely .. Mr. Lonely …,” -- I was hooked.
Most people I know don’t really seem to like the song, which I find so hard to believe.
I mean, come on, doesn’t that cartoony voice make you nostalgic for your days as a care free child watching (and listening to) “Alvin and the Chipmunks”?
I had a “Chipmunks” album growing up and played it to death! Was I the only one?
Was I the only one to watch them on Saturday mornings?
Am I the only one who likes their Christmas song, “Christmas Don’t Be Late?”
And even if you don’t like or never heard of “The Chipmunks,” you have to admit that the voice in this song is cute and you just want to give him a big ol’ hug!
Then there’s the hurt and regret in Akon’s voice that I’m sure we can all identify with.
Then there are the lyrics, which again, ring true. Although, sometimes it’s the other way around.
-sigh-
You know what, if you don’t like this song, then you must be fucked up or racist. There … I said it!
And in some cases, it could probably be both. I mean, if you're a racist, then you're fucked up to begin with.
I guess another reason I like the song is that it expresses how I feel sometimes. Not that I feel lonely, just that I feel … umm … how to put this?
Okay, I guess I have different definitions for the word “lonely.”
1. The feeling of having no one in your life. 2. The feeling of being alone.
I honestly can’t recall a moment in my life feeling the lack of human companionship. In fact, I think I’ve felt just the opposite.
It seems there’s always someone in my life wanting something from me … even if it’s just for me to listen to them.
I remember when I was younger having family and friends fighting over me because they wanted me to stay over the same night. I’ve had family and friends try to encourage me to “come stay a long while” since I’ve been an adult.
So I’m well aware of all the love in my life. So much that most of the time I’m thinking to myself, “Why won’t these people leave me alone?”
As for the feeling of being totally and utterly alone … I’ve felt that before in a room full of people that love me. I don’t know where it comes from or why I feel it, but it’s there.
I’m not sure how to describe it, but when I feel it, I feel like my life isn’t real … that I’m just viewing it. Actually, I think it feels more like reviewing it. Like I’m watching what has already happened.
I feel really detached and outside myself. Like I’m viewing not only from inside my own head, but like from a third-person’s view as well.
Plus, that feeling of being alone and detachment is usually accompanied by feelings of regret (for what I don’t know) and longing.
Yeah, I know I don’t make sense.
The best way I can describe it is to compare it to watching a really old home movie. Think Chevy Chase in “Christmas Vacation” when he’s stuck in the attic.
Anyway, neither one of those definitions fit how this song makes me feel. Since I’ve heard this song and contemplated what it is to feel lonely, I’ve had to come up with a third meaning.
3. Feeling incomplete.
I guess what I mean by that is there are things I’m missing in my life. I could make a long list, but I’m afraid I’ll go off an a tangent for every single thing I list … so I’ll get to the one that pertains to this song more than any other …
... the love of a Soul mate.
You know, I think marriage is a doomed institution and that people that embark on that journey are foolish to think they’re going to defy the odds and beat the house.
What’s with the gambling metaphor?
Anyway, I just think marriage doesn’t work because people are inherently self-centered and hook up until “death do us part” for all the wrong reasons … feeling lonely and/or alone being one of them.
I mean, I know of only a few marriages that lasted until “death” and most of those few had really shaky spots.
Plus, no one I know is entirely happy in a relationship and I’ll go as far to say most are more miserable than happy in their relationship.
Yet, knowing that, there’s a part of my heart that still longs for that special person in my life. Someone to cuddle with, watch a movie with, have stimulating conversations with, go to sleep with in my arms, who loves me for me, and makes me feel special just because I have her love.
I have to admit, even with couples that seem to fight and argue and even separate a lot, that little bit of time they get along and seem like an actual romantic couple that might just actually have love for one another … I’m envious.
Then usually my sane mind interjects and says, “Is all that shit worth one good day together from time to time?”
Then I wonder why two people who seem so mismatched would continue to try to work it out.
Then I think that maybe only they can possibly stand to put up with each other.
Then I wonder if that’s enough for me and I realize it isn’t. I want more … much, much more.
Then I think, “Screw it! I’ll get a dog.”
Anyway, I’ll let the lyrics give my newest definition meaning.
Lonely I'm Mr. Lonely I have nobody For my own I'm so lonely I'm Mr. Lonely I have nobody For my own I'm so lonely
Y'all, this one here Goes out to all my players out there, man, ya know They got that one good girl, dawg That’s always been there man, like Took all the bullshit But then one day she can’t take it no more And decided to leave
Yeah
I woke up in the middle of the night And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side Could of sworn I was dreamin' For her I was feenin' So I had to take a little ride Back tracking on these few years Tryin’ to figure out what I do to make it go bad (go bad) 'Cause ever since my girl left me My whole life can crash in a moment … I’m so
Lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, girl)
I’m so lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, girl)
Can't believe I had a girl like you And I just let you walk right outta my life After all I put you through you still stucked Around and stayed by my side (by my side) What really hurt me is I broke your heart, baby You a good girl and I had no right I really wanna make things right 'Cause, without you in my life girl, I’m so …
Lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, girl)
I’m so lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, baby)
Been all about the world ain't never met a girl That can take the things that you been through Never thought the day would come Where you would get up and run And I would be out chasing you 'Cause ain't nowhere in the globe I'd rather be Ain't no one in the globe I’d rather see (rather see) Then the girl of my dreams that made me be So happy, but now so lonely
Lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, no!)
I’m so lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, girl)
Never thought that I’d be alone (be alone) I didn’t think you'd be gone this long (gone so long) I just want you to call my phone So stop playing girl and come on home Baby girl I didn't mean to shout (No) I want me and you to work it out (work it out, baby) I never wished to have hurt my baby (Hurt my baby) And it’s drivin’ me crazy 'cause I'm so …
Lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, no!)
I’m so lonely (so lonely) I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (nobody to call my own, girl)
I’m so lonely (so lonely)
Lonely (so lonely) So lonely (Mr. lonely) Lonely (so lonely) So lonely (so lonely) Lonely (so lonely) So lonely (so lonely)
